The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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