dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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