Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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