im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
vagina is talking i cant
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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