After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize