Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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