I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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