Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
