What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
