we have officially lost it.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
