is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
