I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
