I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
