Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
