it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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