He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That accounts for only three of the penises
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
