Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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