Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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