I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
