I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
