btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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