i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
