I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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