A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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