I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
