yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
