yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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