dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
