Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize