So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
