check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
