I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
