May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize