So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
