its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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