the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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