Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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