so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
