I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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