haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
