just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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