I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
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I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
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He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
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