The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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