I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
