Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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