she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
