Where is the hickey?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize