Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
