Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
