You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
two words...techno handjob
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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