Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
