I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
