aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
