It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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