You can't motorboat a personality
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
