She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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