Just fell off a train. Bad.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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