I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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