She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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