Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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