I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize