Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Found the puke drawer
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
