you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
