turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
